Lady Macbeth's Journals (Chronological Order)

Journal 1 – Return from where you be, there is work to be done.

My husband is off at war vanquishing the rebels who crave the power of our King Duncan.  A marvellous man and loyal servant to the king, my Macbeth leaves me lonely and without power.  Macdonwald, thane of Cawdor and traitorous foe, must be defeated!  I do not wish to be alone for long.  There are things to be done, people to meet and allies to make.

Ohh, how I miss him, his strength, his forwardness, even his useless inability to bend the rules.  If only he would come back now.  I want to be with him and I don't care if he's alive or injured . . . but if he were to die? A heroic death in the midst of battle where praise for his feats of courage will adorn my ears?  The ultimate sacrifice for the King, his cousin of flesh and blood, would make me a hero's wife!  I would have a position in society as an honoured widow . . . but without an heir I have neither land nor fortune.  My life in comfort requires the survival of Macbeth, my joy requires his presence.  He must defeat the traitor and gain favour with Duncan after his return.  Our future depends on it.  My destiny as the wife of a powerful thane depends on it!

Journal 2 – Chance encounters

A letter and news of Macbeth's return has arrived! What joy!! But we must discuss the prophecies in the letter.  Those three witches called him Cawdor when he had no such title previously and no sooner had they disappeared did the King's men address him as such.  With the previous thane of Cawdor executed for treason coinciding with Macbeth's valiant fight I suppose it could be a coincidence.  But Macbeth as king? His destiny as a great man would be fulfilled at last! How great it is to be a man with title... 

If only I were born a male instead of a female.  I could be the one who rises to power and fulfills a great destiny!  But I am a woman.  I can only be the voice that guides Macbeth towards his destiny....Glamis, Cawdor, and then king...

King Duncan's arrival could easily become an opportunity.  If he were to die accidentally, or be murdered by "rebels", Macbeth would be the most likely heir with his recent heroism and loyalty to his country.  He would then be king in no time at all!!! But who would do the deed? 

I await Macbeth's return with impatience.  I pray that his journey be swift and his horse's steps sure.

Journal 3 – A crimson dawn

Macbeth, you may be my husband and a future king, but you are so rarely the man that you could be.  I spite you, the one who throws his own glorious future away.  The crown is yours to wear if only you would seize the opportunity. 

Oh spirits of the night, give him a spine so that he may do what must be done.  Let his passiveness become aggressiveness; his loyalty become murderous intent.  Our plan - no my plan - will be set in motion momentarily. 

When Duncan's servants are asleep with wine I shall ring the bell.  Two tolls and then the king will die.  A new monarch shall be crowned and Duncan’s servants will be blamed.  Should an heir have been name, it does not matter; he will be disposed of and Macbeth will be king.  No man or woman shall obstruct my our cause! 

We must succeed tonight.  No greater opportunity will present itself during our life.  The time nears.  I must go and this deed must be done.  

Who will be king at the dawn of the new day? Macbeth.

Journal 4 – King and Queen

The king is dead.  Long live Macbeth, thane of Glamis and of Cawdor as well as king of Scotland– or so he shall be when tomorrow comes.  Once the ‘guilty’ party has been properly punished everything will have gone as planned and I will be Queen of Scotland. 

It is regrettable that Macbeth was unable to kill Duncan without almost making a mess of everything.  The daggers were meant to stay within the chambers to incriminate the chamberlains.  Being the unthinking man that he is, the daggers were brought out.  Macbeth has been affected by his act of killing.  I fear for his sanity but I can only hope that the ambition within him will awaken and everything will be alright – for both of us. 

Never before had I seen so much blood.  Having it be spilled by another’s hand is easier to bear than being the one spilling blood.  There was so much of it everywhere.  More blood covered the sheets than I had ever imagined possible.  As it was I kept having visions of Duncan looking as my father had when he was asleep.  Flashes of blood welling up then bursting forth as a blade broke skin overlapped with what I saw.  A man covered in blood and killed in cold blood.  It is a necessary death; however I fear that spilling blood will lead to more bloodshed in the future.

Guests have arrived at this late hour.  I hope our actions tonight do not betray what we have done and brand us as traitors of the crown.  Soon – very soon – the subterfuge will end.  My plan will have come to fruition and I will be queen.

Journal 5 – After dinner, a chance to rest

Things are developing much faster than I expected.  Macbeth is different from who he once was. His motives are hidden, he is beyond my control.  He will ruin everything if he is not careful – but so could I.  I see blood everywhere when my eyes are closed

Sleepless nights are not to my benefit.  Soon it will be the death of me.  My movements are slowed and the dreams that haunt me do not allow any alternative but to doubt what has been done.

Tonight’s banquet worries me.  Will it be enough to quell the murmurs of murder?  Will our role as hosts be a success?  Will we be able to hide what has been done?  So many questions but so few answers.  Once this rough time passes all will be well – or at least it should be.

Journal 6 – Dinner fiasco

There were a few absences at the banquet.  Banquo, as well as Macduff, were not present.  Macduff is loyal and just.  He would be a great ally however, where his loyalties lie is still a mystery.  Banquo was loyal to the previous king.  Does he support Macbeth now? Or does he seek the crown that will be given to his children, as the weird sisters foretold?  Banquo had never had ambitions to become king.  He knew his status and his limits.  Never would he have dared to undermine his lord for his own advancement. 

Macbeth did not desire to be king, but with my help, he became what he thought he never could be.  He was a puppet; he was obedient and easily manipulated.  Neither Banquo nor Macbeth would have ever had the guts to try if they were alone.  Banquo has seen the success Macbeth has had in fulfilling the prophecies.  Will he attempt to have the same for himself?  It is difficult for me to imagine Banquo doing so, just as it is difficult for some to imagine Macbeth committing treason.

Macbeth was loyal to me, as I to him, but he has changed.  Now he has a mind of his own.  His mind is devious and it knows not the difference between reality and fantasy.  For a time it was what I desired of him, but now it worries me that my husband no longer shares his plans with me.

I wonder what could have terrified him so at the banquet.  What did he do that could haunt him day and night?  Madness seems to have consumed him.  Banquo was not present, yet Macbeth repeatedly claimed otherwise.  So much is at stake – respect, loyalty, power – all that we’ve worked for could be gone in a moment.  All because Macbeth cannot keep his imagination from going wild, and in turn, his mouth.

I am weary.  Things were never meant to become so complicated.  Duncan would die, someone else would be blamed and then we would be king and queen.  No one else was supposed to die.  There would have been those who had supported the king who believed that he was killed by Macbeth and not Malcom or Donalbain.  Peaceful means were possible to keep them quiet rather than killing them.  Bribery, blackmail, even torture could have had them hiding their own opinions.  Now it is too late to do so, their mouths are shut forever.  There is more blood on my hands than ever.  When will my hands be clean again?

Journal 7 – The beginning of the end

Macduff is in England seeking Malcom, the rightful heir to the throne.  Duncan’s ghost would love it if we were to die at his son’s hands.  An eye for an eye makes the world go round.  Blood in pools makes the soul go down – to hell.

Banquo is dead.  I know it.  He and his son have vanished.  They are gone from this world but have returned to haunt me.  In my dreams I see a sea of blood: my hands, my clothes, and the walls for are dyed red everyone to see.  The images haunt me as if they know I am why Macbeth walks down this bloody path.  But I have done nothing wrong.  Macbeth deserves this position of power.  If he has to use what ever means possible to retain it, I support him – no matter the cost.  Sleep is the price I pay.  Daily, nightly, everything is red.

Macbeth is never home anymore, nor does he sleep.  He fears Macduff and killed his family outright.  Poor Lady Macduff, poor children.  There’s more blood to add to our list of sins.  Is it my list of sins or his? I tire of this suffering.  Becoming queen was supposed to make me important and make my life easier.  I never expected to sleep with ghosts mulling about and blood on my hands.  The secret must never be brought to light.

Journal 8 – The final chapter

I cannot do this anymore. Macbeth is not the man I married.  He prepares for battle as I prepare for a sleepless night.  I do not know what the night will bring but I fear the worst.

I cannot stand to see more blood.  How could Macbeth kill the innocent?  Those who were not in our way should not have been killed.  But they have been and there is no way to beg forgiveness for such acts of inhumanity.  An eye for an eye, in other words a life for a life.  My sins are a burden that I wish to rid myself of.  Perhaps there is a way to please all.  I have done too much evil.  I have done too little to fix it.  Perhaps it is time to say my final goodbye.  My greed has consumed me once and for all.  Adieu.